A/N: Just my solution to the rumors. Happy ending tomorrow.
Take This Job And ****** **
Part One
1215 Thursday
JAG HQ
She stood leaning against the doorframe of his office. Her eyes were wistful and her arms crossed defensively. So this was what it felt like. She knew all along it would happen. It wasn’t as strong as her visions, yet the premonition had haunted her since the day she heard Cresswell was taking over as JAG. And now it was happening, her worst fears were coming true, they were being separated. They were, finally, after all these years, on the very edge of getting it right, and once again they were being torn apart by an outside force. This time, it was their careers.
“Your orders came through?” she asked as she watched him pack his few personal belongings.
He hadn’t replaced a lot of his mementos with the double change of offices. The one time she’d been back in his apartment she’d seen them there, and wondered if he was even going to stay.
“Yeah London, the Embassy,” He replied cryptically, unnecessarily. She knew this.
“Doing what?” she was curious.
“Not entirely sure. But it seems my knowledge of international law, and my connection to some of our undercover brethren had something to do with it.” He smiled sardonically.
“I thought you might resign,” she mused.
“Why would you think that?” He looked a little curious, almost hopeful, but a little defensive too.
She shrugged, “Mattie, your mother, your grandmother,” she offered carefully, not hoping it might have anything to do with her.
“Can’t, not now,” he replied shortly.
“What do you mean not now?” It sounded like something she should know. Something that at one time she would have known.
“I’m doing this because of Mattie. If things had gone well, I may have decided differently, but now I need my career.” His answer’s were short. Not giving more than asked.
“I don’t understand Harm,” she really was puzzled. What didn’t she know?
With a heavy sigh he stopped packing and looked at her, maybe she really was concerned, maybe she really did care, finally. He tried not to hope too hard. After all, she was leaving too.
“Yesterday the court rescinded Tom’s custody and returned full and permanent guardianship of Mattie to me. It effectively nullifies our separation. The accumulated time will allow me to adopt her. This makes her my dependant now. I need my health insurance to care for her,” he explained more than he wanted to.
“Oh Harm, I’m sorry I didn’t know. Are you taking her to London with you?”
“No, not for now. She’s still confined to bed, and she needs the best therapy. I’ve arranged for her to be transferred to Bethesda this afternoon. They have an excellent unit that treats combat injuries. They can do everything she needs. The paralysis isn’t complete any longer, but it’s still debilitating. She’ll heal with hard work, at least that’s the prognosis. In the mean time, I’ll come visit her as often as I can. I also have to take care of her property. Sell it or lease it, and establish a trust for her. When she’s able to leave the hospital, I’ll take her to England with me.” He explained.
“I see,” she mulled the ramification of everything he’d told her. “I guess there wasn’t anything else you could do.”
“Yeah,” he responded softly, a little sadly. “That’s the way I saw it.” They were quiet for a moment.
He thought of how badly he’d wanted her, how he’d hoped they might have just one more chance. Life just wasn’t going to happen for them.
“Hey,” he said with hollow brightness, “Scuttlebutt has it you’re getting a promotion, along with your new command,” he smiled at her, proud of her accomplishment, if not happy for the path their lives were taking.
“Yeah,” she smiled back. It was an empty accomplishment now. She could see the pride in his eyes and it warmed her heart, if only it weren’t underlined with such sadness. “My orders haven’t come in yet,” she added.
“I got mine last Friday,” he replied unnecessarily, it was also something she knew. “I have to report next week.”
“I know,” she agreed quietly. “I have a month I think.” She referred to her new post.
“Well,” he said his bright smile brittle. “If you’re ever in England….” He let the thought hang.
“Sure, and if you ever get to San Diego….” She offered with no real hope.
“Yeah,” he agreed. “Walk me out? Just this one last time,” his eyes were pleading.
“Can I help,” she offered as an old friend.
He stacked two boxes together, “That small box on the desk, and my briefcase if you don’t mind. It will save me a trip.”
“It’s lunch time Harm, no one is here. Aren’t you going to say goodbye?” she wondered.
He shrugged, “I’ll try to get together with people before my flight leaves Saturday night. Depends on how Mattie is. I …I guess she’s my priority now.” He ducked his head, as though warding off all the other things he would have liked to count on.
“Yeah, I guess,” she agreed following him across the empty bullpen to the elevator. She could almost tell by the set of his shoulders he hoped he would see no one he knew. Relationships here just weren’t the same as they had been. For Harm to want to steal away…. for the others to let him go without fanfare…. No, events of the last two years had taken a disastrous toll on once solid friendships.
“Do you need a ride to the airport Harm?” she offered.
“No. I’ll be okay. I’m having the Corvette stored. The storage people will meet me at the airport and pick it up.” His look was evasive. “The Navy will only ship one car,” he continued the unneeded explanation. “The Lexus went on Monday. ”
“When are you leaving?” She hoped maybe there would be a few minutes, just a few more minutes. Please God.
“Saturday night, 1825, British Airways,” he answered automatically, uncertain why he gave her so much information. “I’ll be with Mattie until then. I need to make her understand why it’s important for me to go. She’s pretty broken up emotionally too, but this is the only way.”
She nodded as they exited the elevator and crossed the lobby. It was a dismissal, she thought, he was telling her everything was over.
As they reached the prized sports car, he popped the trunk. “Well, I guess this is it,” he said, reluctantly, but honestly.
She looked up at him with eyes brimming, “I guess it is,” she agreed, holding herself hard, clinging to her iron clad defenses, but crumbling inside.
She didn’t really expect to see him again. He’d spend tonight, tomorrow, and most of Saturday with Mattie before his plane left.
God, this was really happening. Their last minutes together. No matter what they’d done before, what bold, or stupid, or half thought out moves they’d made, they could always come back and try again. This time there would be no more trying; it was over. The hollow chill in the pit of her stomach turned into a glacier as they walked out of JAG together for the last time.
“I’m sorry Mac; sorry for everything I didn’t do right. God, I wish I could change it,” he told her.
“I know,” she answered. “Me too,” and fell into his embrace. Right there, in the middle of JAG’s parking lot they shared their first and last ever kiss as lovers. He didn’t say the words when he released her. He didn’t say anything at all. He couldn’t do that to her, not now. If he couldn’t do it before, it wouldn’t be fair to burden her with it now.
She backed away, his car barely a blur. Standing on the sidewalk, she watched him drive away from her and from JAG, until his car turned the corner and left her sight.
Returning to her office, she glanced briefly at his now empty space. She couldn’t pretend it was only temporary this time, or that he’d return from assignment. There was a coldness settled about the room that signaled a source of warmth in her life was gone.
This can’t happen, but it is happening. He’s gone. Gone for good, and he won’t be back. Not to me, anyway. I’ll be gone in a few weeks. It’s over. She repeated the mantra, chanting it in her mind for over an hour, trying to give herself strength to face the future without her best friend. It gave her something else instead. Finally, she turned to her computer and began typing.
1645 Thursday
JAG HQ
“Colonel, come in,” General Cresswell greeted her, as she answered his summons. Tightly, her fingers grasped the manila folder emblazoned with the official JAG shield. She stood at attention before his desk, waiting for the other shoe she was expecting to hear drop.
“Relax Colonel,” he remarked casually, although he didn’t invite her to sit. “I just received your orders. I expected them in the same packet with Rabb’s last week, but something caused a delay. Oh well, never mind,” he continued distractedly. “Here they are.” He held them out to her, only looking at her closely when she neglected to reach for them.
“Colonel? Your orders,” he repeated a little more focused, a little more severe.
“Respectfully sir, I don’t think so,” she started.
“You what, Colonel?” he was beginning to catch the signals now, and he didn’t like them.
“With all due respect, sir, I need you to read this.” She handed him the folder
Slowly, he laid the orders on his desk and took the folder. The look on his face made her wonder if he was really surprised by this.
“Your resignation, Colonel? Explain,” he ordered.
Taking a deep breath, she focused her eyes somewhere over his head before speaking. “Respectfully sir, I don’t want to go to San Diego. I know that’s where I’ve been ordered to go, but I have another option and I’m taking it.”
“This is a pretty drastic step,” he pointed out. “You aren’t eligible for retirement,” he reminded her.
“I’m aware of that sir, but I’ll find a way. I just can’t do this,” she declared adamantly.
“Care to tell me why?” he looked interested, but covered it with a layer of justifiable ire.
“If you like, sir,” she verbally shrugged.
She’d resigned, he could hardly fire her, but she would try to maintain the deference due his office.
“Respectfully sir, I do not want to spend the remainder of my career, or my life, in San Diego babysitting that despicable, dishonorable, unethical, sniveling, oversexed excuse for an officer. He’s going to cause serious trouble for command, and I truly hope the General isn’t affected by his behavior. However, I won’t allow him to cause that kind of trouble for me. I’d rather resign first.”
“I’ve tried time and again to counsel him,” she continued, “and he blatantly ignores my warnings and guidance. I finally came to the conclusion that barring one small mistake, and given all I’ve done in my career that’s been good, all the sacrifices I’ve made for it, I have no intention of putting myself in that line of fire.”
“Really, Colonel? Why didn’t you say something to me sooner? You know I could view this as dereliction on your part, if I wished,” he spoke warningly.
“Yes sir, undoubtedly you could. At first I tried to handle it as any good officer would. When I tried to talk to you….well, quite frankly sir, you seemed so enamored of the Lieutenants ‘abilities’ you weren’t hearing me. I realize that would provide me no defense against formal charges. Unless the General really wishes to make a case against me, my resignations with no eligibility for pay or benefits should suffice.” Her voice and demeanor was just a hair on the right side of insubordinate. She was out of here and didn’t want to take any more.
“I see,” he wondered if it was worth anything to admit his mistake, even to himself. “When I picked Lt Vukovic, it was on the basis of stories I’d heard about Rabb. That he pushed the envelope, bent the rules, and took chances to get the results he wanted.”
“Begging your pardon sir, but you are wrong,” she plowed ahead in spite of his scowl. “Commander Rabb took chances. Not to get the results he wanted, but to get at the truth. He pushed the envelope, but never by sacrificing honor and ethics. And quite frankly sir, if he’d made half the advances towards the women in this office that the Lieutenant has in just these past few weeks, Harm would have wound up in bed with all of them. He is infinitely more charming.” Her voice flared with emotion during this exchange.
“Really?” the General raised an eyebrow at her. “So this is about Rabb, then?”
“No sir, not directly, only by comparison,” she answered, her fire flagging but still struggling to burn.
“I see,” he replied then looked up at her. “How do you know he didn’t?”
“Who didn’t what, sir?”
“Rabb didn’t….” he let it hang.
“Oh I see. Well, I just know, sir. Women talk. Besides Harm was always the very model of respect towards the female staff, any female actually, sir,” she provided almost regretfully.
“Including you, Colonel?” he asked cannily.
“Yes sir, including me,” she admitted.
He nodded, then asked thoughtfully, “He’s really that bad?” His reference to Lieutenant Vukovic was obvious.
“Yes sir. I’d watch my back if I were you,” she warned boldly.
“Hmmmm, thank you, Colonel,” there was a smattering of sarcasm mixed with the muted appreciation. “What do you think of Commander Turner?” He asked.
“In what way, sir?” she thought she knew, but…
“Is he fair?” The General clarified.
“He sees everything in black and white sir, no shades of grey,” she stated. Turner wasn’t her favorite person right now. On the other hand…
“Gives no quarter, huh?” the General asked, with something obviously on his mind.
“No sir, none,” she thought of the accusation against Harm, and knew the General was considering it as well.
“I think the Lieutenant needs a new partner Colonel, and maybe a little more time at headquarters,” Creswell made his decision.
“Yes sir, thank you, sir,” she was relieved he believed her. She didn’t want to see the Navy discredited, or the General hurt for that matter. “May I be excused, General?”
“Your orders, Colonel,” he picked them up and offered them to her again.
“No sir. You have my answer. It’s still the same,” she indicated the open file folder in front of him.
“Are you telling me to take the job and….?” He didn’t complete the sentence.
“No, sir,” her expression softened considerably. In the beginning that had been her exact attitude. “Nothing quite so…um…forceful General.”
“I see. What will you do now? We could work this out,” he suggested.
“I have some personal business to take care of, sir. I’m thinking about a vacation,” she didn’t realize that she hadn’t actually told him no.
“London, perhaps?” he asked knowingly.
“Perhaps, sir,” she agreed vaguely.
“Dismissed Colonel, and good luck,” he told her gently.
“Thank you sir,” she turned and left the office.
Back in the room that had been her home at work for nine years, she picked up the e-ticket she’d printed out before her interview with the General, packed her personal belongings into a box and exited the building. The few people left in the bullpen at this hour were not the close friends that had once populated the area. It wasn’t that difficult to leave unnoticed.
End of one
Take This Job And ****** **
Part Two
Saturday night 1750
Dulles international airport
Flight 1825 to London
Her seat was in the center row of the wide-bodied jet. The late booking had forced her to take whatever was issued, but she didn’t care. At least she managed a seat in business class; she would be near him. She’d taken a chance, but Harm always upgraded, he needed the extra room for his long legs. She could see him from this spot even though he hadn’t noticed her. Her boarding pass had taken her down the aisle on the other side of the plane. He was concentrating on the activities outside his window.
For now, there was a vacant seat next to him, but she couldn’t hope it would remain that way once all the passengers were boarded. Apparently he’d been told to expect a driver to take him directly to the Embassy, because he was wearing his service blues.
She forced herself to relax against the upright seat back, and contemplate the chances of talking to him during the seven-hour flight ahead. Her best hope was if he decided to go to the men’s room in the rear of this section. She might intercept him then. Until she found an opportunity, she comforted herself by watching the top of his head over the several rows of seats that separated them. His height made his dark military brush more visible than an average person.
Lost in thought, he gazed out the window, watching the familiar dance of the ground crew, as they prepared the plane for a safe flight. Luggage was loaded systematically, last minute carts appearing from the terminal had their loads stowed. Hatches were shut and locked, then double-checked.
A pilot made his last minute check of the exterior before heading for the stairs to the forward hatch. The fuel truck finished its task and backed away. The truck carrying the meals and refreshments to be offered during flight, finished its delivery and left as well. Outer doors were closed, engines fired, system checks run through. Harm could hear them in his head. It was a much bigger jet than he was accustomed to flying, but he had flown these monsters a time or two. Ultimately, a jet was a jet. Much about them was different, but much was the same as well.
They both had traveled by air so many times that they no longer paid attention to the lights, the warnings, the demonstrations, and announcements. They complied by rote. It was second nature. Push back came and went, then the long taxi to the runway. The anxious anticipation of waiting in the long line of huge aircraft was the hardest part, before the final move into the lane for takeoff. The engines revved to the point they threatened to tear from the wings, and then the release of the brakes. Next came the mad dash down the runway, and the improbable leap into the air. Those first minutes as gravity forced you against the seat, followed by a few seconds of blissful weightlessness as the aircraft leveled off, after its tremendous thrust to become airborne. All of it was thrilling and familiar at the same time.
It was at that point of the flight that Harm usually noticed Mac’s fingers wrapped tightly around his and flexed his hands at the memory. He missed the feeling every time he flew without her. Mac at the same time fought the urge to grab the hand of the man sitting next to her. Her fingers worked convulsively against the cushion beneath her.
Fifteen minutes later, initial cruising altitude was reached, and the seatbelt sign turned off. The attendants would move through the cabin soon, offering headphones and drinks. Perhaps later a snack, and then a meal would be served. A beverage would be nice; the snack would be skipped. The food on British Airways was historically better than other airlines. On most other carriers, food that had almost never been more than tolerable, now simply wasn’t even considered, if offered at all. They wondered separately if BA had held the line on quality. God knows they charged enough for their tickets.
Mac knew she had only minutes to find the lead stewardess and make her plea. The seat next to Harm had remained empty, and she thought if she could slip in next to him, surprise him, maybe there was a chance they could talk. Perhaps he would be happy to see her. She couldn’t wait to know. It would be devastating here, on a seven-hour flight, if he rebuffed her, but she couldn’t wait a minute longer.
Climbing over two of her fellow seatmates, she gained the aisle that contained Harm’s seat, and turned towards the main attendants cabin looking for help. She was about to turn back when she heard the voice behind her.
“Excuse me, miss,” he said, and her knees weakened. With barely the strength to remain upright, she turned to face him.
“Harm,” she whispered.
His eyes widened in surprise, whether good or bad she couldn’t tell. “Mac? What are you doing here?”
“I…I’m going to London, Harm,” she said plaintively.
“That’s obvious,” his eyebrow went up. “This plane doesn’t stop anywhere else. What about San Diego?” he asked.
“I’m not going to San Diego, Harm,” she told him.
“Not going? Were you reassigned?” His face showed confusion.
“Not exactly,” she was acutely aware that at least five rows of people in every direction were concentrating on their conversation. The slim brunette and the tall Naval officer were quickly collecting an audience.
“What’s not exactly, Mac? Are you on leave?” He tried vainly to make sense of it.
“Sort of,” she replied.
“Maaac,” he looked at her sternly. She’d always been annoyed when he did that. Now it seemed almost an endearment.
“Terminal leave, Harm, I resigned,” she confessed.
“You what!?” his voice rose several levels.
“I resigned,” she tried calm reason. “You know, write a letter saying I quit. You’re familiar with the procedure, Harm. I know you’ve done it several times.” Their audience increased to include at least three more rows of people.
“I understand the procedure Mac,” he said impatiently. “I just don’t understand how you could do that, it’s…”
“Please, Harm, don’t say it. Whatever you say, don’t say it’s all I had. Please?” she begged. “I’ll go back if you want, just don’t say that,” her eyes began to tear.
“Oh, Mac, no, I wasn’t….I wouldn’t….You have something else if you want it,” he offered, tentatively holding up his hands.
“I want it, Harm,” she answered, and slipped easily into the arms of the handsome man in a blue navy uniform. Their lips met and the world fell away. Neither realized for several long minutes where they were. They didn’t hear the cheers, they didn’t hear the catcalls, nor did they hear the applause. In fact, they were oblivious to everything until the supervising flight attendant tapped him on the shoulder.
“Sir, I’m going to have to ask you to….um….maybe take your seats,” she suggested hesitantly.
Releasing Mac only partially, he turned and gave her his biggest flyboy grin. “She wants me,” he told her.
“So I see, sir. Perhaps you can take care of that when we land,” the attendant suggested a little more firmly.
“Oh God, Mac, we’ll be in England. I don’t know anything about marriage laws in England. You will marry me, won’t you?” he offered, oblivious to the stilled breathing of more than fifty people.
“Yes, Harm, I’ll marry you,” she answered, to the explosive whoosh of released breath from every person within earshot.
“Good, then I guess I can look up the law. I am a lawyer after all,” his pride in working out this simple fact was charming.
“It ain’t that hard mate,” someone called from several rows back, over shouting the cheers attending the proposal.
“Hear that, Mac?” he mimicked with a silly grin. “It ain’t that hard.”
She leaned close and whispered, “Maybe we can take care of that when we land too, flyboy.”
He was speechless for a response, but his thoughts were interrupted by the attendant again.
“Sir, really, we need the aisle for the refreshment cart,” she insisted.
“I’m sorry,” Harm apologized with a smile that would melt tempered steel. “Can she sit by me? The seat’s vacant.”
“I’m sure that would be fine, if you’ll just take your seat,” the desperate stewardess agreed.
“C’mon Mac, I think we have plans to make, and you still have some explaining to do.” He took her hand and started back up the aisle.
Someone from her row handed Mac her jacket and purse, and she followed Harm to his seat.
Tucking her against the window, he raised the seat divider and turned to her. “Now, Marine, care to tell me what this is all about?” She recognized it as a protectively possessive move. He had her, in essence, against the wall. At this point, she was so happy she didn’t mind. Harm would back off if she protested, of that she was sure.
“It’s all about having what I want for a change, instead of what someone else decides for me.” She over simplified.
“What about San Diego?” he questioned.
“Not going, Harm. Too far from London,” it was all either of them really needed to know.
“And the undesirable Lieutenant?” he asked with a slight smirk.
“Sturgis’ problem now,” she gave him a twinkling smile.
He laughed out loud at the idea of the straight-laced Sturgis riding herd on the playboy of the western world. Then a frown bent his face. “Did you really have to resign, Mac? I mean we could have worked this out.”
“It didn’t seem like it, Harm. It seemed like it was about to be over. I had a choice to make and I made it. Unless you don’t want me.” she was suddenly uncertain.
“I just proposed to you in front of a plane full of people. I doubt I can back out now,” he grinned, to show her he was joking. “Nor can you,” he touched the tip of her nose with his finger. “You accepted. I want nothing more than to have you with me, Marine. Maybe when we land we can call the General,” he still would like to save her career if possible.
She started to shake her head, when the stewardess came back. “Are you two going to be this much trouble the entire flight?” she asked in exasperation.
Stunned, they both looked up at her. What had they done now?
“You have a phone call, miss,” she indicated the in flight phone on the back of the seat in front of Mac. A light was flashing on the handset and Mac picked it up
“Hello,” she answered uncertainly.
“You didn’t answer me, Colonel,” she heard the gruff voice.
“Sir?” she responded automatically even though it was no longer necessary.
“About working it out. You didn’t say no, so I took it upon myself,” he stated matter-of-factly.
“I don’t understand, sir.” She was puzzled.
“How long are you staying in England, Colonel?” Why was he still calling her Colonel?
“Uh…two weeks, sir, at least that’s what my ticket says. I…uh have some things to work out.” She wasn’t sure how much to tell her uncertain CO.
“Good. Reserve the return on it. In two weeks report to the Embassy in London for your new assignment, travel orders have been cut, and you’ll be reimbursed for your ticket,” he ordered in a tone that accepted no nonsense.
“Sir?” Mac was completely disoriented now. The pilot must be doing those barrel rolls Harm loved so.
“If you get to the Embassy during your stay, check in with the Marine Commander. He’ll be your new CO; he’ll want to meet you. You’ll be spending your time hauling misbehaving troops out of whatever trouble they manage to get into. Not as glamorous as what you’re accustomed to, and not as warm as San Diego,” he couldn’t resist a small reminder, “but it shouldn’t interfere with those plans you have. It will put you two under a separate chain of command as well,” he added helpfully.
“Yes, sir. Are you sure you want to do this, sir?” She was still dazed, and why was she arguing with him?
“Colonel, I seldom do much I don’t want to do, not once I find out what I should be doing,” he answered pointedly. “By the way your ward isn’t very happy with is new trainer.” He laughed heartily at this circumstance. “And one more thing, does anyone have the keys to your place?”
“Yes, sir, Harriet Sims… that is, Roberts sir. Why?” She was still too stunned to follow his thoughts.
“I’ll send her a copy of your travel orders so she can set up arrangements to have your things shipped. And one more thing, tell Rabb he has two weeks leave before he starts his new job. His new boss owed me a favor.”
“Understood, sir,” she answered, her smile growing through her bemused acceptance. “I’ll report as ordered. Thank you, sir,”
“You’re welcome, Colonel. Have a good flight.” The line went dead.
She hung up the phone and looked at Harm in astonishment. “He didn’t accept my resignation. He reassigned me to London.” She said somewhat in awe of the entire outcome.
“Terrific,” Harm said. “Doing what?”
“Mostly hauling sailors and marines out of the drunk tank I imagine, but he said it wouldn’t interfere with any other plans I have,” she cocked an eyebrow at him.
“Do I have a say in those plans?” he asked with a slightly wicked look.
“You have at least half the say,” she smiled saucily at him.
“Good, then lets start here,” he slipped his arms around her and kissed her soundly again.
A throat cleared behind his shoulder and a voice reached his ear, “You two are going to be trouble the entire flight, aren’t you?” the woman asked, a long-suffering expression on her face.
Harm groaned, and turned to the speaker.
Looking up sheepishly, they both accepted the drinks offered by the exasperated flight attendant.
“By the way Harm,” Mac added as their watch dog moved down the line. “The General says you have two weeks leave. Have you ever visited England?”
“No, but I can’t think of a better place for a honeymoon.” He quickly looked over his seat back and down the aisle, before he leaned in to kiss her again.
The end.