A/N: The usual disclaimers apply about ownership. Its clearly posted on this site who owns these characters and I give full appreciation to there generosity in allowing me to play with them.
This story is set immediately after Paraguay, after Harm is fired from the CIA and returns to JAG.
Before we start, I want to state for the record that I don’t advocate trolling singles bars for companionship, nor do I agree with the politically incorrect concept of oversexed males shopping for desperate females. What single people do with their time is absolutely none of my business nor do I intend to make it so.
That isn’t what this story is about. It’s merely a scene, set to show the desolation and desperate loneliness that has invaded the soul of one tortured human being.
One Night Stand
Part One
I can’t stand it; I have to do this. I’ve waited for two years, and now it’s ended before it ever started. I’m so alone it hurts and I don’t want to hurt any more. This is one of the most notorious singles bars in the DC area, everyone comes here to get laid, and that’s what I’m going to do. If only for one night, I have to find out if I have any value. In some way, any way at all, can I still mean something to someone in this world? At least, I know I have the skill to show someone a good time, even if it only lasts one night.
The place is huge by most standards. A large ‘W’ shaped bar runs along the back wall, projecting partway into the room at the center, it probably seats a hundred people or more. It’s flanked by large alcoves with pool tables and dart games on one side, and a dance floor on the other. The rooms are scattered with intimate tables and booths where people can get acquainted after they connect, before moving on or leaving altogether.
A momentary fear runs up my spine, as I enter the crowd. Do I still remember how to do this? I’m a little older than most of the people here. Some of these guys look like their mothers still check their hands at the dinner table. Face it, you’re not a kid anymore. You’re in for some rough competition, but there doesn’t seem to be a lack of targets. What is it they say, age and experience over youth and enthusiasm? I guess we’ll find out if any of the women in the room see it that way.
I start by working through the crowd to the bar, and ordering a beer. I’m not really interested in drinking, but I’d look too stiff without one in my hand. I head for the poolroom, but not before I notice the woman sitting at the end of the bar. She’s surrounded by half a dozen very successful looking yuppie types. Like moths to a flame, they dance attendance on her, and why not, she’s breathtaking. I’ve seldom seen a more gorgeous woman, and I know the minute I spot her, I don’t stand a chance. Not in the group she has attracted. They don’t look particularly stupid, someone will snatch her up soon.
I shrug, accepting she’s out of my league, and move to the pool tables. The area is filled with an assortment of unconnected males and females, circling and strutting, watching, flirting, inviting, and dismissing. I wonder if I ever behaved that way, even as I accept that I often did in the past. I’m just not sure I’m up to it any more. However, I’m less up to being alone. It’s making me crazy, I have to try; the loneliness is killing me. If I succeed tonight, maybe it won’t be so hard the next time. Like riding a bicycle, I’m sure it will come back to me.
I figure since everyone in the room is so intent on getting each other’s attention, I’ll try a different approach. I stride casually, but confidently, across to an empty table and rack the balls, ignoring everyone.
For some reason it works like a charm; before I take a deep breath and a sip of my beer, there are three women beside me, asking if they can ‘play with me.’ The double meaning is clearly intended. I smile at each of them in turn, it’s my best feature, even I know that, but I only give them about half the power.
I’m feeling a little cocky now, and decide not to overwhelm them all at once. I’ll save the full power smile for the one I end up with. Things are looking too good to move too fast, the evening is young.
As I break the balls, I glance up and glimpse the beauty at the bar; she laughs charmingly with a particularly sophisticated young man. He seems to have thinned the competition for her attention. Oh well, I shrug. Too high powered, I tell myself, and smile at the redhead to my left.
I don’t even hear the inane comment I make to her, but she laughs, so it must have been clever, or maybe not. Who knows, she may be after the same thing I am, a meaningless one-night stand, no complications, and no tomorrows. Just pick the likeliest looking body in the room, and go for it.
My body may not be as young as some of the men in this room, but I pride myself it’s in top shape. I know what to do with it, which is something that’s easy to telegraph, in this sexually charged atmosphere. Yeah, I’ll score tonight. I’m just not certain who I’ll allow the privilege of entertaining me. The sensation is heady, and I no longer feel ashamed of my goals or my methods. The chase and conquest are everything.
We finish the game, and start another, changing partners. Now a raven-haired doll attaches herself to my side. She’s a tiny thing, and I amuse myself with the thought she will just about fit in my pocket. However, her warm brown eyes are disturbing. They remind me of someone I came here to forget, so I find myself being a little cooler than with the other two. Sorry babe, you’re a nice girl, but…. I let the thought hang as I wonder how soon I’m going to start hating myself.
Deciding it probably won’t be until morning, I finish the game and look around, assessing the possibilities. The dark haired girl moves off, to be replaced by a strawberry blonde. Adorable, but the golden blonde has paid her dues, entertaining me with her presence for about forty-five minutes now, and she deserves a chance. She snakes herself around me, and suggests a dance. Sounds good to me.
As we walk to the dance floor, I surreptitiously glance towards the bar and the unreachable one. She’s reduced the crowd of suitors to just two now. A while ago, she had two uniforms vying for her attention, but I watched secretly as she shot them down. I’m not wearing my uniform, but most people see it on me even when it’s home in the closet. There will be ‘no joy’ for me; she’s a class act.
I continue with the blonde draped over my arm. I’ve been accused before of having a weakness for blondes, why not give in? After all, I’m not looking for a mother for my children. She got away long ago.
Half way through the third dance, I take a fleeting look towards the bar and see she’s gone. My heart plummets. She apparently made her choice and left. I’m saddened by that. Once, perhaps, my arrogant self-confidence would have risen to the challenge, staked a claim, and dared another male to dispute my territorial prerogative. I’m not up to that sort of contest any longer. I can be happy with the assortment of females offering their charms. Any one will do really; it’s only for one night.
As we stroll back to the game room, I catch sight of her. The handsome young power type she’s with is fawning over her, putting up her darts, before he snakes his hand around her arm. For just a fraction of a moment, I perceive her stiffen at the familiarity, and I resist the temptation to intervene. It’s not my place. She hasn’t asked for help, I’ve learned that lesson well. Imperceptibly, I see her relax and decide the entire episode was my imagination.
I sit in a booth for a while talking to the blonde ‘du jour’ but I’m losing heart. The longer I keep this up, the more I wonder if I can do it, and soon I drift to another woman. The blonde excuses herself to the ladies room and never returns.
The crowd is thinning now. I figure I’d better pick a partner soon, or there won’t be anyone left. Two of the women I’ve spoken with are sitting in the corner of the room. I wave as I head for the bar to get another beer. After being here two and a half hours, I’m still nursing the same warm beer. I’ll fortify myself with some bottled courage, then come back in a minute and let one of them take me home. It briefly, crosses my mind to try entertaining them both. The thought causes a sharp reaction in the lower part of my body, but what’s left of my better judgment and common decency prevails. I remind myself I’ve never done that; I’m too old to start now. Somehow, it just isn’t right, no matter how intriguing it sounds.
End of part one
One Night Stand
Part Two
I’m not really paying attention as I approach the bar. I’m very near her before I realize she’s alone. This most gorgeous of all gods creatures is alone. How can that be? Is it possible, should I try, or has her new acquaintance just excused himself for a moment?
Walking up behind her, I take a chance. “Is this seat taken?” I ask in my best bedroom voice.
Slowly, her eyes raise to meet mine in the mirror behind the bar. “It could be,” she offers with an inviting smile.
“Can I buy you a drink?” Standard approach, but somehow I think she’s heard most of the more clever lines tonight.
“Sure, if you like” she shrugs.
I signal the bartender. “Two of what the lady is having,” I tell him.
“You don’t have to do that,” she demurs. “Have whatever you want.”
“I don’t have to do anything,” I reply boldly, leaning slightly towards her. “Is that an offer?”
“I wondered if you would ever ask,” she replies.
“You looked like you were busy,” I shrug.
“You noticed?” she seems surprised.
“The minute I walked in the door. There was always someone nearby, several someone’s,” I amend.
She drops her eyes and tosses her head slightly, “They didn’t feel right.”
“Do I feel right?” I can’t believe I’m saying these things.
“I don’t know, not yet anyway,” without flinching, her eyes fly to meet mine.
“Would you like to find out?” it’s the defining question.
She looks me up and down, “You could be very entertaining.” She smiles seductively.
“Your place, or mine?” I go for it.
“Yours, that way I don’t have to kick you out later. I can leave when I want.” I’m both thrilled and disturbed that we understand each other.
“That could be dangerous, I may not be trustworthy. What if I won’t let you leave?” I warn.
“You don’t look dangerous; I think I can handle you.” She purrs.
“I’d like for you to try,” it’s a suggestion, not a challenge. The double meaning is clear.
“Shall we?” I offer my arm.
“By all means,” she takes it, snuggling her fingers against the inside of my elbow.
“Where are you parked?” I ask, as we walk to the exit. Holding the door for her, I glance back over the room, smiling at the envious stares of more than a few remaining men.
“I took a cab,” she explains. I nod understanding, as I lead her to my car and hand her in.
We ride in silence to my apartment. At times like this I wish I lived in a better neighborhood. But then, it doesn’t happen that often.
As we enter the loft, I offer gallantly, “If you decide to leave, let me call you a cab and walk you out, it can be dangerous around here at night.”
She nods her head, absently scanning the room, “I’m not ready to leave yet. I think we had some feelings to explore.” Her eyes lock on mine, she takes a step closer.
I slip my arms around her slender waist and pull her into one of my best kisses, her arms snake around my neck. I feel her bury her fingers in my hair; she molds her body against me. I don’t intend to disappoint her. She may leave later, but I’m going to make sure she doesn’t forget. For all the things I get wrong in my life, this is something I know I can do right.
She’s shifting in my arms. I hardly slept for fear she would steal away in the night. I know I said I only wanted this for one night, but I can’t let her go. I draped my leg over her, and wrapped my arms around her, as she drifted off last night. If she awoke, I would feel her. Still, I didn’t sleep.
She’s moving and I tighten my hold. Just another few minutes, I have to hold her for just another few minutes. I pull her tight against me burying my face in her hair. If she leaves, I have to memorize how this felt. It has to last me forever.
“Are you going to let me go?” She asks looking at my chest.
“Not if I don’t have to. Do you want to go?” I reply into her hair.
“No, not really. What just happened?” She continues.
“I’m not sure, I only know it was good, I shouldn’t have waited so long.” I admit fearfully, pulling back to look at her.
She raises her dark golden eyes, and I start my final decent into them.
“I know,” she says. “Me either.”
“I love you, you know.”
“I know,” she nods slightly. “I love you too.”
“We can make this work Mac.”
“We have to Harm,” she responds. “It’s the only way we can live.”
I lower my head and capture her soft warm lips, as my body moves over her. I’m no longer clinging to her, now we belong to each other forever, not just for one night.
End